How do you approach your loved ones about seeking assistance or relocating to a retirement community? Exploring the available alternatives and knowing more about effective aging can provide you with the ability to start this dialogue. However, just because you’re researching and being informed doesn’t imply you can take your folks out of their house immediately without their permission. Instead, you’re getting ready to be as supportive as possible throughout the conversations and the final decisions to come. Read on for tips on how to talk about assisted living with your parents.
Start Somewhere
If you can schedule to have a face-to-face discussion, that’s fantastic. If not, use a video conference so you can see each other while talking. Make an effort to organize your meeting at a time when both you and your parents are well-rested and comfortable.
Remember that bringing up this topic early on, when elderly individuals are still able to live comfortably alone, allows you to have a speculative, non-threatening conversation about the future. Consider the discussion to be an ongoing process in which everyone’s thoughts are heard but nothing needs to be done right away. Discuss at a quiet, informal location to set the tone right.
Know the Answers to What-Ifs
If your parents are still well and alive, inquire about what would happen if one of them passes away. Should they sell their house? Is it better for the surviving parent to downsize or relocate to a senior living community? The what-if inquiries might be challenging, but they can help you understand your parents’ wishes for each other and offer adequate insight into what they’ve previously communicated.
Explain that this is a difficult situation to contemplate, but that you aim to learn what they desire for each other. Inquire of each of your parents what they would want for the other party in the worst-case scenario. Then, wrap up the conversation by asking for recommendations on how you might assist in ensuring those things be done for them.
Involve Them in the Decisions
You may have your parents’ best interests at heart, but try not to make all of the decisions on your own. Involving your folks in all major shifts protects their autonomy and increases their willingness to talk about issues like long-term care and wealth management.
Offer your parents enough control over the issue. Don’t make their minds up on their behalf. Instead, give them options and let them pick for themselves. Explain that the present conversations are taking place to guarantee that they can remain independent for as long as feasible. And planning is essential because you want them to have a strategy in place that won’t allow them to be caught off guard when troubles surface.
Ultimately, allow your parents some time to get used to the notion of transferring to an assisted living community. Authorize your family member to be as engaged as possible when it’s time to relocate. Before the move, for instance, ensure your parents are involved in deciding which possessions to retain and which to sell or donate. Allow your parents to supervise the process even if you hire a moving company. This might assist mom or dad in maintaining a certain sense of control of their life.
